Anonymous asked:
Femininity also divides women and makes it harder for us to connect as people. If women bonded over human experiences rather than feminine rituals or roles, then we'd have less women saying they can't relate to other women. Because they'd see women as real humans and real people.
femsolid answered:
Yep. Actually you’re reminding me of a book I read recently in which the author pointed out that women also bond over criticizing their own bodies. You know, it’s the good old “oh I look so fat now”, “oh same I need to go hit the gym”, “me too omg I’m so disgusting” etc. And it was pointed out as well that even when women didn’t participate in these conversations it made them feel like crap just to hear it. Also noteworthy: a lot of women join in the negative body talks just to fit in. And out of habit. A woman says she hates her nose, you immediatly say you hate yours too, we’re all in the same self hating boat. It doesn’t even mean you actually believe what you say, but you say it nonetheless, like being horrible towards your own self, your own body, is a feminine bonding ritual and a reflex. But if you instead say that you like your body you’ll be considered unpleasant, arrogant and will be rejected from the female group. So basically, men bond over shitting on women and women bond over shitting on women. Men bond over objectifying women and women bond over objectifying women too.
Do you guys remember what book this is? I need it for my thesis. :/
Yes, it's Beauty Sick by Renee Engeln (she is a psychology professor and researcher specialized in women's body image). She starts talking about it at page 227 (chapter 12).


